Category: Category defying

01
Apr

The only eye makeup I took with me to NYC for a month.

(Mascara and lash curler not withstanding) was this:

Benefit

The key player was the nude palette. All of us should have one. Find the right one and you’re set like Joan Jet.

The one I chose was from those Palette Queens at Benefit. It’s called the World Famous Neutrals palette in ‘Easiest Nudes Ever.’ (There are two other options in the range, which I’m not convinced I would not love more.) It costs $44 and is new on the scene. I was impressed. I also love their Brows a-go-go palette and their Cabana Glama palettes, since you asked. (And if you didn’t ask, I apologise.)

But then, Benefit always do cracking palettes. Terrific combinations, useful, easy to use products, nothing superfluous, except for perhaps the size of the actual cardboard box. Excellent for those who are tentative about trying new looks, because the colours are generally universally flattering, but also they include visual step-by-steps. This one has the steps and a mirror in the palette. What fun!

I chose this palette for travel because it has all I need for a variety of looks.

Specifically, ‘day’ and ‘night.’

It has two lovely cream eye shadows, one that’s a creamy pinky-rose shade (shade name: R.S.V.P)  and one that is a darker, browny-bronze shade (shade name: No Pressure!) both of which are perfect for:

A) priming the eyelid before powder shadow

B) ensuring there is no funny business in terms of creasing or rapid fading.

Then there are four  powder shadow shades. I mostly use the two brown ones, the innocuous, suits-everyone shade of light brown (shade name: Thanks a Latte), and the dark chocolate brown (shade name: Matte Espresso) that is terrific for drama, definition and using wet as a liner. Great for smudging into the lower lashline for a lived-in look, too.

There are also two very light shades, pink (shade name: Pinky Swear) and vanilla (shade name: Call My Bluff), for using in the centre of the eye  and under the brow bone and on the inner ‘V’ so that your eyes look VERY WIDE OPEN AND PRETTY. 

S1476472-main-Lhero

There was not one dingin’ occasion I couldn’t use this palette (with my favoured shadow brush for travel, the dual-ended Bobbi Brown eye shadow brush, which comes in her travel sets. But lots of brands do these – one end is thin and flat for liner, one is medium-sized brush for shading and blending).

My favourite day look was a wash of pinky-brown cream shadow up to the crease, and then pushing in a light taupe shadow, with some flesh-toned liner in the lower waterline with mascara, which was a cinch with this guy, and for night, cream shadow in a brown or bronze, just a touch further up than the crease for more excitement, then a dark brown shadow pushed into the lash line and blended up onto the lid about a cm, blended nicely of course. Some lower lash line biz, too. Then, as always, lots of mascara.

BUT, sometimes I get bored with just my browns and taupes and lattes and want something a bit more dazzly.

Which is why I included the small Becca Powder Shimmer in Damask (rose-bronze-gold) shadow you see in the picture, and also some gel liner (Lancome Ink Artliner in Black Carbon Ink.)

This allowed me to have the further options of either:

– A clean, precise winged liner (with a base of the R.S.V.P cream shadow all over the lid to keep it fresh)
– Some complementary eye interest to a red, pink or orange lipstick should I choose to sass such a thing, which I most certainly did. Flat or matte brown shadow with zingy lips can look a bit dull in my opinion. A bit of metallic spices things up. The great thing about No Pressure! as a cream shadow is that it has a hint of metallic sheen to it, so you already have a nice warm base in place even before adding bronze.

As a dame who generally overpacks, I gotta say, choose a killer palette to travel with, and chuck the rest. How many eye looks can you REALLY use on one trip? HOW MANY I SAID.

 phZoeNYC

Responses to this drivel: 11 Comments
26
Feb

The whole cleansing oil thingy, and why it’s great.

As I wrote last week, oils are great.

In particular, oil is a real good thing for your hair. Nourishes it. Makes it obedient. Feeds it. Tames it. Hydrates it. Reads it bedtime stories.

Now, onto the facey oil stuff, specifically, cleaning said face with oil.

Important starty bit: Do not fear oils on the face. Our skin is made up of oil and secretes oil, ('sebum') –  it gets oil. Good mates with it.

So.

I cleanse with oil.

For those not on this skin care wagon already (it's the one with streamers and an infant donkey painted on the side) cleaning the face with oil sounds counter-intuitive. But! It is actually a fantastic, superb, wondeful way to thoroughly remove makeup and oil – yes oil! – from the face. The skin is made up of oil and moisture, so why not ensure its levels are topped up?

A good cleansing oil completely removes all impurities, even waterproof makeup, by using incredible like-attracts-like technology (replacing gross oil with nice clean oil), all the while keeping your skin perfectly balanced and not-at-all-stripped or dry. Remember: too little oil means your skin starts overproducing sebum and you get oilier skin, plus congestion/clogged pore/general unhappiness. Cleansing oils are hydrophilic, which means they can be washed off and dissolved easily and there's no build up or film left over.

And finally, cleansing oils are hydrating. Very much so.

I always cleanse with oil (as part of a double cleanse) when I've been wearing a lot of makeup, plus silicone primer and sunscreen, but if you have very dry skin, or clean your face then immediately need to moisturise right after because of tightness, (you're probably using the wrong cleanser, darling, skin should never feel tight after washing) you may really beneift from oil cleansing as it is inherently, deliciously moisturising. (Like all cleansers, there are different kinds of cleansing oils for different skin types – oily, dry, normal, whitening, etc.)

Fun tip: And a lot of people with acne find oil cleansing very helpful for stabilising and balancing and hydrating their skin, in particular a homemade mix of two teaspoons of castor oil, with one teaspoon of a carrier oil like jojoba oil plus a few drops of tea tree oil. Your skin may flip out for a few weeks! Especially if you've been using very astringent, drying skincare up until this. Your skin needs to adjust. You have been warned. 

I love Dermalogica Pre-Cleanse and shu uemura's Cleansing Beauty Oil Premium a/o Advanced. ("The Green one.") 

Shu uemura cleansing oil

 

How to clean the face with oil:

(There are a few ways to do this. None are wrong so long as you start with a dry face and end with a thorough removal of the oil.)

  1. Start with a filthy face. No makeup removing required. 
  2. Put some cleansing oil in wet hands and massage all over (your dry, dirty) face for at least a minute, until it is fully emulsified and all milky. Clean and massage over your eyes, too. But close them tight because oil in the eyes is ANNOYING.
  3. Leave the oil to sit on the skin for a bit, then either rinse off with warm water, or take a hot-warm face cloth and rest on the face for ten seconds or so, to compress the oils into the skin. 
  4. Wipe the oil off the face with the cloth (or just rinse) til she's aaaaall gone.

If your skin feels great, stop there, or follow with your regular cleanser for a very thorough clean, also known as a double clean I mentioned earlier. Then serum/moisturise as normal.

Have you tried cleansing oil? Made your own? Tell us your tale, you rascal!

 

Responses to this drivel: 2 Comments
19
Feb

I use many oils each day and they are terrific. Like these hair oils, for instance.

Yesterday, as I was elegantly spilling ice cream down my wrist and cursing the hot, gorgeous Melbourne sun, I got to thinking about an email a fruit had sent me regarding oils and are they really good for the skin and hair, and if so, and why haven't we been using them forever.

We HAVE, you gorgeous dunce!

We definitely have. Oils are fantastic, on every stinking inch of the body, hair and nail. As proof, I thought I would spend the next few posts listing all of the oils I use (in an average day/week). 

I then call on you rascals to do the same in comments, because it's a lovely thing to share beauty tips, and who knows, Caitlin might not know how much you love Bio-oil, and how it helped your scars fade, and Jess might inspire all of us with her homemade jojoba, sweet almond and rosehip oil hand elixir.

Today, hair.

SWEET SALTED SWORDFISH SHE USES OIL ON HER HAIR DOESN'T IT WEIGHT IT DOWN WHAT A GOOSE

No. They may have done so in the past, but the texture and technology and types of oil we use now has changed. Now they're varied in usage and thickness and, when used properly (trial and error is usually how to discover this, not always the side of the bottle), hair oils can very convincingly change change how the hair looks, feels, behaves and if you're lucky, smells. (But not tastes.)

And, you know what? The hair can do with some oil, actually. Coats it, protects it, nourishes the scalp. Is wonderful as an overnight treatment, and can help a lot with styling and obedience. 

The key is finding the product with the right texture and 'weight' for you, and then starting off with a VERY small amount. I am referring more to the new generation styling oils than the old-school treatment oils, which are generally washed out (see: hot oil, v05) and actually designed to be thick and heavy in the hair so that it really penetrates the cuticle and conditions the scalp.

Argan oil arrived as a key ingredient and led the new wave a few years ago, proving a lovely salvation for dry, knotty, shitty hair with flyaways, and split ends. Argan-based hair oils offer deep hydration, repair AND act as a pre-styling smoothing tool, which is fun. But you gotta try a few and find the right one. Very curly, thick dames might love Moroccan Oil, for example, and get an enormous thrill from the shine and sleekness and anti-frizz benefits, but a fine-haired cutie like me does NOT love Moroccan Oil because it gives her 1.5 days out of her wash, when she is used to at least four. Too heavy. This is where the lighter version of MO comes in, and fine-haired ladies might use that, or else something like Kerestase Elixir Ultime Oleo-Complex Versatile Beautifying Oil (Kerastase, please trim the fat from your product names) or even a touch of Nuxe Huile Prodigieuse (Multipurpose dry oil for face/body/hair) on the ends, just for taming purposes.

Here are the hair oils I use and enjoy:

For pre-styling I use a teeny spray of Davines (pronounced DA-vi-ness) OI/OIL Absolute Beautifying Potion (maybe catch up with the Kerastase gang and all name edit together) on damp hair, starting at the ends and I run it through the hair, moving up to no higher than about the ears, which avoids any lankness or heaviness on the scalp. It is very light. Gives great shine. Smells like a smile.


Davines-absolute-beautifying-potion

For treating I use Pantene Intensive Damage Repair Oil on damp, clean hair and then sometimes even wrap a towel I dampen and microwave for a minute around my hair for 15 minutes. No rinsing required. The oil is actually quite lightweight, and especially great when I have been overstyling my hair a lot because I am competiting in Miss Tapdance NSW or something.You can also use on dry hair.

Pantene-intensive-damage-repair-oil

For travel I take a small vial, possibly a sample, of Orofluido – a not-too-heavy Argan oil delight I use on damp hair to protect before styling/letting it dry naturally/add life after swimming/tame frizz.


Orofluido_elixar_900x900

A lot of babes use coconut oil on their hair, but it is too much for my wuss hair.

 

 

Responses to this drivel: 1 Comment
15
Feb

Primer isn’t a fad product.

If you enjoy wearing makeup, and you get snitchy when that makeup doesn’t last then I cannot for the love of Liza Minnelli understand why you are not wearing primer.

You wouldn’t paint your walls without priming them first, would you? (Ignore the fact that our face is nothing like a house please.) Primer is a staple, you guys. A must-own. It’s not a silly thing that will come and go in the beauty world like nailpolish pens – although I personally wish nailpolish pens would come back hard – primer is clever and purposeful and effectual.

Some reasons that might get you across this g-damn line if you are not already there:

– Most but not all primers have silicone in them. This is a good thing, because it means this non-toxic silicone acts as a wall between your face and your makeup – meaning your makeup stays in place, because your skin cannot eat your makeup all day (because you are not feeding or watering it properly, usually – give it some exfoliation and a mask why don’t you?) It means thorough cleansing and exfoliationg a few times a week, this silicone, though. Don’t let that shit build up.

– Primers are flaw-fixers so that all the heavy lifting isn’t left to foundation and concealer, which to be fair, are not really qualified. Certain primers (I’m looking at you, Smashbox) can conceal the look of large pores, mattify shine, even out redness, boost glow; whatever. There are SO many different kinds now, and they all do different things, so be sure to find one that best suits your personal skin needs, not one some chump on a beauty blog recommends, even if she is a real nice girl and knows heaps about everything.

– Primer pretty much acts as spac filler. If you are the type of dame who sees wrinkles and fine lines as though they are neon lights or small waving hands, then primer helps to fill those in and plump them up before you apply makeup.

– Primer, the right primer, will cosmetically illuminate and add radiance to your skin before your makeup goes on. This is a wonderful thing and I cannot understand why if this was available to you, especially when you want your makeup to look IMMACULATE for an event, or last the whole day at work or at a wedding or your annual fly-fishing conference, you would not adopt it.

My two go-to primers these days:

Primers

 

The Dermalogica Age Smart Skin Perfect Primer one is slightly tinted and full of SPF 30+ skin care and heavy with silicones to really smooth out the skin and plump up fine lines, which I have around my eyes and quite enjoy filling in. It’s very thick and velvety, and adds a lovely evenness to the skin. If you have cracking skin, it could be used alone as a skin perfector on top of moisturiser but I prefer using it under foundation. Also, the size is tiny and perfect and very awesome for this travelbot. I love it.

The Face Of Australia Face Base 3-in-1 Primer is less powerful at skin-perfecting and line-filling, but its benefit is that being all creamy and moisturiser-like, you can skip your daily face cream and use this straight onto cleansed skin which means less layering/build up on the face. That said: I recommend sunscreen first, obviously then primer – the SPF 15 in here and such a small amount won’t do nada. It’s hydrating and helps makeup last longer – simple. Also it is about $10, so that’s something.

 

 

Responses to this drivel: 2 Comments
05
Feb

Video: A genuinely non-drying long-last lipstick in many awesome shades.

Uh oh, looks like someone can't stop blogging about lipstick!

(Me. That someone is me.)

Today I am more vlogging, as those who dabble on the innernette are wont to say, and my subject is the new lipstick launch by our good friends at Revlon. Revlon have sponsored this blog and video, but since when it comes to talking about coral and berry-toned lipsticks I could talk for a solid week, or even 10 days if I had lozenges and water, and this is a genuinely excellent lipstick, their request for a 'two minute' video has been deeply betrayed. I apologise, Revlon. Make your lipsticks less interesting and delightful for The People and I won't be forced to jibberjab for six minutes next time.

So!

I would've thought Revlon would still be flying high from their Just Bitten Balm Stains, outstanding as they were, but those devils don't quit, and their new lip star is already here.

She's called Revlon ColorStay Ultimate Suede Lipstick, and she launched this week. The headlines are that she is of velvety texture, and she does not dry out a dame's lips as she coats them in a fine selection of extremely young, fresh, fun colours like summery soft coral-melon, and trendy-runway-famous-Russian-model berry.

This non-drying bit wouldn't be so exceptional except that long last lip products ALWAYS DRY OUT THE LIPS. But things have changed. An thank goji berries for that.

I'll let the video/my head do the talking, and now, after 9 hours of wearing Ultimate Suede (in It Girl), I shall either remove it with a cotton pad and some cleansing oil, or gently take a facial makeup remover wipe, and massage the product off my lips, which is the fastest and laziest and most effective way to remove what is DEFINITELY, no two ways about it, worthy of the ColorStay name.

 

 

Final important bit: It's $25.95 and you can buy it all the places you normally buy your Revlon. ("Not Bunnings.") 

Final unimportant bit: I was tired and shitty on Sunday so wore Finale (the red) with bronzer and big black sunglasses to brunch, and in an instant felt terribly glamorous and like I might actually be very famous and from Hollywood.

 

 

Responses to this drivel: 24 Comments
01
Feb

We all love orange lipstick these days, right?

Good.

Thought so.

My pick for years has been Ginger Fawn from Tom Ford's Private Colour Collection, and when I say private, I mean he keeps them in his home, locked up, and only if you say the magic password ("Gwyneth loves kale") do you get access.

But that's all over now. That shade was discontinued, as was the whole Private Collection. (I have a special knack for making great lip products I love tip-toe off to cosmetic heaven; be sure to never recommend me your most cherished lipstick shade.) Tom kicked all the privacy, and the (sexy, Dynasty-style) gold and white packaging, and went sleek ebony and gold casing for his lipsticks, now just called Lip Color.

Of course, they are just as less exquisite. And there are more shades. And they look incredible when pulled out of a handbag to be re-applied.

The replacement orange shade is Wild Ginger, and is it glorious. Sold out for ages, but is just back in stock. (From a handful of David Jones stores, $65.) A vibrant, exciting, POP of reddy-orange, (good if you aren't ready for pure orange) it instantly peps up my face, makes any bronzer or tan I happen to be definitely wearing sing, and makes my teeth and eyes beam. I feel awake, alive, polished. It applies like a dream, all smooth and creamy, and I don't get cracks and creases.

Here's mine, all pretty and posh before I mashed it on to my kisser. 

TomFordWildGinger

And after, with a purple t-shirt which is not an accident because I highly rate orange and purple together.

Photo 2

A word on orange lip colour: I firmly believe that any skin tone/age can wear it. The very pale, the very dark, the very teenagey, the aged and elegant – all of us, all of us! 

So try it, why don't you. Go on. It washes off.

Unfortunately, cheaper brands are a bit behind on the orange and coral wagon for some reason. They tend to stick to high-selling shades like pinks, nudes and red. And when they do attempt orange, they always dump shimmer in there, or make it too pink or bronze, or too sparkly. 

That said, L'Oreal Colour Riche Lipstick inVolcanic is pretty excellent, and Revlon's Orange Flip is a bloody corker, and it's cheap and has been around since your granny was smoking in fast cars and kissing bad boys. (Also from Revlon is their new ColorStay Ultimate Suede Lipstick in Cruise Collection, which I will go into detail about next week, and which is a terrific soft coral-orange shade.)

MACs Vegas Volt and Morange are both very popular (a bit more pure orange than red-orange like Wild Ginger), as is Bobbi Brown's Jenna, which is a nice matte version. And of course one N. Perdis' Hara lipstick is a much-loved and cult (very) bright orange.

But if you're feeling spendy-luxe-I-deserve-a-treaty, and I very much encourage dames owning one or two Special Lipsticks to flash around like posers given the chance, give Wild Ginger a nod.

Ms Bosworth would want it that way.

KateBosworthOrangeLipstick

 

 

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06
Dec

Some long-bob, short hair inspiration to enchant and delight.

In the shape of these two fashion-forward genetic jackpots, Lady Margherita Missoni and Dame Karlie Kloss.

Both have had long, lovely hair, the kind that often features in the iPhone gallery of women like you and I when we head to the salon for a cut, or style, or great colour and need a good reference, for a great many years (that is how one achieves long hair, after all), and both have recently cut said hair to perch elegantly, mischievously above their shoulders, but below their chins.

 A terribly chic length, of course. Wonderfully versatile and fantastically sexy in that insouciant, confident way.

Here is Miss Kloss, doing nothing to stop the perception that women sassing 'librarian' frames are deeply sexy, in a coy and dewey system kind of way.

Karlie+Kloss+Ninth+Annual+CFDA+Vogue+Fashion+aJQdcV5WPjEl
Karlie+Kloss+Ninth+Annual+CFDA+Vogue+Fashion+IbxeBA1N65jl

And lady Missoni, heir to vibrant zigzags and jubilant florals…

Margherita+Missoni+amfAR+Milano+2012+Arrivals+YpCT3ZE27mFlMargherita+Missoni+Ninth+Annual+CFDA+Vogue+c2lDUZL5vN4l

Please note how in both cases, high-necked skivvies and collars make no challenge to the hair at all, in fact, this length allows such necklines to shine. Long hair on the other case, it wants to compete with everything, and looks far better put up, back and away when the neckline is high.

I personally love this length, and interestingly, find when my hair is shorter, my hemlines quickly also rise. It's as though with short hair, you've lessened one of your focal points (long hair), so you're allowed to create a new one (legs). Also, it tends to look less…. full on, than short skirt, long hair for some reason. No scientist has ever accurately confirmed why.

But why would they? They've got Mentos' to be dropping in Coke and other important stuff to do.

 

Responses to this drivel: 12 Comments
04
Dec

How to style naturally curly hair so that it bloody-well behaves.

As the proud/often annoyed owner of very curly fine hair that loves to frizz more than is considered the legal limit in three states, I am often asked, (in an unsually aggressive manner, to be honest): 'Fosters! How do you get your curls to behave and stuff?"

So, as I was doing my hair for a 75th at a Russian restaurant in Elsternwick on the weekend (DON'T JUDGE until you've been there and had 34 shots of straight vodka and the night of your g-dang life) I thought I would do a wee photo diary on how I styled my curls. And the rules of it. And explain how much quicker and easier it is than blow-drying. (Plus it was raining so why even entertain the idea of smooth, obedient hair? Roll with the wild, Brazilian '80s look, toots.)

And look, I don't want to start a passionate debate about curls V straight hair here, but I do always seem to get more hairpliments (hair compliments) when my hair is like this, so maybe, if you have curly hair, it's time to let it dance once more?

Here's how I do mine, in case you'd like to give it a go.

ONE:  DO NOT RUB WET HAIR WITH YOUR TOWEL AFTER WASHING IT.

Scrunch it gently with your towel to keep the shape of the curls intact, and not cause frizz/boof. Also, use something lovely and nourishing to wash it with so that it's already nice and hydrated and behavey. Please note the absence of a comb or brush at this, and any point.



Photo on 1-12-12 at 6.34 PM #2

TWO: APPLY A DOLLOP OF LEAVE-IN CONDITIONING BALM/ANTI-FRIZZ CREME/CURL BALM ALL OVER, EXCEPT THE ROOTS.

I used Pantene All-Day Smooth, (I also like ghd Obedience Cream) which is lovely and nourishing but marvelously lightweight. Also: CHEAP. Small pea amount on my fingers rubbed together, and then scrunched and rubbed all over the hair, except for the roots, because any product that close to the old oil-producer ("scalp") can lead to a lank, greasy look.


Photo on 1-12-12 at 6.36 PM #7
Photo on 1-12-12 at 6.37 PM #4

THREE: USING YOUR HAIR DRYER WITHOUT THE NOZZLE (OR EVEN BETTER, A DIFFUSER) DRY YOUR HAIR OFF.

Gently, on a low air and moderate heat, dry your curls. Do a lot of scrunching and coiling and twirling as you go to shape the curls. Be sure to flip your head upside its head (Snap lyric reference for those born in the '80s) a lot, and get the heat in there at the roots so as to create volume. Do this for at least five minutes, until the hair is at least 85-90% dry.

Photo on 1-12-12 at 6.41 PM #2
Photo on 1-12-12 at 6.41 PM #4

FOUR: YOU WILL NOTE IT IS A BIT BOOFY BUT THE DRY-OFF HAS DEFINITELY HELPED. DON'T SOOK. GO DO YOUR MAKEUP.

The curls are forming! They have been coated in something to stop the frizz, and heat dried to create shape, bounce and volume. Give them 10-15 minutes to understand all of this and do your mug/get dressed/eat some corn chips.


Photo on 1-12-12 at 6.43 PM

FIVE: HAIR WILL BE LOOKING A BIT BIGGER AND BETTER, CURLS ARE SETTLING IN NICE. BUT SOME OF THE ENDS ARE LOOKING SHIT AND LIMP AND FLYAWAY.

Usually, it will be on the ends, which if they are in bad shape because your hair used to be bleach blonde ("me") or you need a hair cut, will be a bit… uninspired. You don't need to stand for this. You don't need to stand for this!


Photo on 1-12-12 at 6.55 PM #2

SIX: TONG THEM! DO TIGHT, LOTS-OF-TENSION CURLS WITH A SMALL BARREL TONG WHERE YOUR HAIR NEEDS A BIG MORE BOUNCE AND CURL.

There is no need to go nuts, or even pumpkin seeds. Just do a few minutes worth of tonging here and there, (take the hair back off and away from your face; always position the tong cord in the air) which will help and encourage the rest of your curls to take shape around them. Don't shake them out yet, by the way. Let them cool as crazy tight ringlets, you can finger tousle them out in about 10 minutes, when you're out on the street cursing every motherdingin' taxi that won't stop. Also: Try not to burn yourself while taking photos for your blog.


Photo on 1-12-12 at 7.07 PM #2

Photo on 1-12-12 at 7.09 PM

Photo on 1-12-12 at 7.08 PM


SEVEN: DONE! (UH, EXCEPT FOR THE SHAKING IT OUT IN THE CAR WHEN THE CURLS ARE STONE COLD/HAVE SET.)

Well. Look at you. Thanks to a bit of clever drying and a few minutes tonging, your curls are looking good, it all blends in nicely, and you're just a babe with big, glorious, Aerobics instructor curls. I don't even finish with hair spray anymore, because it makes the curls too sticky and obvious, and I prefer a lived-in, soft curl. Also, the less product I use, the more days I can get out of my hair. (I'm on day four already, and after a touch of dry shampoo this morning, and am feeling pretty smug.)

Add large hoops and hot pink rollerskates at whim.


Photo on 1-12-12 at 7.16 PM

NB: I know this is a controversial area of hair styling, because every dame's curls behave in their own special ("frustrating") way, and I concede this might not work for you, but try it. Can't hurt, ay.

NAB: A bank.

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27
Nov

High heels can mess your feet up, you know.

I certainly know, after three weeks of insane amounts of high heel wearing and all-day standing, because the back of my left heel hurt like no-one's business, except for mine and eventually, today my chiropractor (well, 'a chiropractor' – it's the first time I've ever met seen him, and to be fair, I don't actually own him).

It was swollen, and sore, and made wearing anything that covered that area unfun/extremely painful/void. I figured it was from one of my shoes messing it up, or a chipped bone, and ignored it ike any normal ignoramus, until on the weekend when the pain really unleashed, and I self-diagnosed on Google that it was achilles tendonitis and I would probably never walk again.

Cut to the chiro, who informed me very quickly that I was a deformed haggler.

I spat on him and left immediately, obviously. Just because I have bumps on the back of my heel does not mean I am a deformed haggler. I mean, I don't even have any warts on my nose anymore, and hardly ever wear my rags these days.

Hilarity aside, it's actually called 'Haglund's Deformity' but I still lovingly call it Haggler's Deformity because I am five and it's funnier. It's also referred to as pump bump, because women who wear high-heeled 'pumps' often get this problem. Also, as a manic treadmill runner I was in big trouble. Apparentely running on treadmills is The Worst Thing Ever for you.Who knew?! Switch to the elliptical or jazzercise instead.

Sadly, this heel bump biz is not nearly as ignorable and cute as bunions, because if you don't sort these heel bumps out, you are at risk of bursitis and even achillies tendonitis, which you do NOT want, because you won't be able to walk, let alone walk in heels, and you will become very shitty about life for a time.

So today he pushed and massaged the shit out of my heel and foot and calf, and it hurt, and then he told me to do calf raises three times a day, and ice it, and THEN told me not to sleep the way I do, because I sleep on my side like a cute unborn baby, and my foot is in a position that mimics wearing heels, which is cleary no go. I told him to stop peering through my windows as I slept, and we're even.

He also put some cool tape on my foot which made it look like it was nuclear waste. Kind of like the adult version of a Simpsons bandaid, I guess.

Haggler

So, my advice is: if you have pain and lumps on the back of you heels, get that shit checked out. I know this is not much of a beauty post, more of an ugly post, but that's how I roll. (My ankle.)

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25
Nov

Just say your skin is looking dull, thirsty and dry.

But also say you have no time for a thorough exfoliation and quick 10 minzo mask, which would make a walloping great difference, if I was to be honest about all of this.

So. Here's what I do: I mix in some lovely face oil with my foundation, and after mixing the two squirts of goo between my fingers nicely so they are relatively fond of each other, I apply it to my face using those very same fingers. I then take a foundation brush and paint on a touch more foundation where needed, which is amost definitely not around the crinkles/smile lines under the outer corner of my eyes, cause that's where all my dryness and thirstyness hang out playing Uno, so it's far better to keep the lush, dewy sheen caused by the addition of oil there instead. 

My products of choice for this face glowing recipe are Goe oil and MAC Face and Body foundation, although rosehip oil and any liquid foundation does the job real nice too.

Goe-Oil-102 (2)
Mac-face-and-body-foundation

Oily skinned dames may not want to do this trick for obvious reasons, (TOO! MUCH! SHEEEEEEEN!) but they still might want to mix in some moisturiser, primer or skin perfector/luminiser in with their foundation for some added glow, mightn't they.

 

 

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