Category: Category defying


Everyone’s playing sidesies with their hair.

And by everyone, of course, I mean "some famous people" which are the only people I care about on this blog, because frankly, non-famous people ought to be ashamed of themselves and start being more famousy. I would like to see a world where there is one Kim Kardashian per post code at least.

Back to hair!

This hair, specifically, which we saw on Ms Heidi Klum last week at the VMAs…



And then today on Ms Scarlett Johanso, Johansse, Johansson, at the premiere of Hitchcock.


And of course, Lady Rihanna, although hers, unlike the birds above, is created via undercut and weave, rather than blow-drying the hair, then popping in some clever little braids or plaits from the one side of the head, winding two-thirds around the back of the head where some tricky bobby-pinning tucks their ends under the long, blow-dried other half of hair, and is bound to be around for about 11 more seconds before she tires of it and tries something new. Quick! Enjoy while you can. 


Me? I like sidesies.

Have always liked one-sided hair looks, from vintage deep-parts with finger waves to the gritty, pretty Alexander Wang low plait that was huge a few years back. I will be giving it a go myself sometime real soon.

Sure, it's a bit sassy '80s, but so are the Pointer Sisters and there's nothing wrong with them.



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Did I mention I once wrote a book?

And you should buy it if you haven’t already.


Here’s what people are saying:

"When the movie comes out, I bags the role of Gabe."
Perez Hilton

"By far the best book she’s ever written."
David Foster

"When the movie comes out, I bags the role of Dan."
Adam Brody

"Probably the best book I’ve ever walked over on the way to the kitchen."

"When the movie comes out, I bags the role of Hannah."
Zooey Deschanel

"Ew. That’s a girl’s book."
Small boy at the convenience store

"If I owned a set of eyes and thumbs, I would choose only to read this book, again and again."
Zoe Foster

"I can only dream of writing such entertaining, exciting fiction."
JK Rowling.

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Regarding the lack of posts…


I am very, very busy with

Like a small bird with a grumbling stomach, peering cautiously over the edge of his nest, after having just realised his mother will no longer be vomiting food into his mouth and that he will have to go out and find his own witchety grubs from now on, we are very, very close to launching.

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When you’re busy, your skin starts to hate you.

Especially when you REALLY don’t need it to misbehave and start being dry and spotty and just generally quite shit.

It’s the crap food you eat when you work back.
It’s the rubbish cold, dry weather and the heaters.
It’s the water you forget to drink.
The gym you don’t go to.
The flying, the wine at dinner to relax from the big days and the scorching hot showers you take to relax.

So, you know what I do when all of this happens and my skin is all like, "Oh, poor me, I’m all reactionary to stress, ooh, I’m so upset and dismayed at the way you’re treating my body, oooh, why don’t I just go and cry about it like the big epidermal baby I am, waaaaaaaaah," and I’m all like, "Whatever, skin, I’m gonna get me some beer battered chips."

Usually, I’d recommend a quick DIY peel (very much enjoying La Prairie’s new 3 minute peel, after all, who has 4 minutes?) and a little hydrating mask (Alpha-H does a cracker called the 15% Glycolic mask. If you haven’t heard of Alpha-H, I suggest you trot over to their site and sniff around. They are very very underrated, and very very good. Strayan, too. I love their Liquid Gold lotion, the aforementioned mask and their Micro Cleanse scrub. KaPOW! Spots gone, skin clear and all hydrated. Take five, Alpha-H. Your work here is done.)

But today I’ll recommend a holiday to the Seychelles.

I can recommended an amazing travel agent, if you need one. Here he is, all ready to book your flights for you.


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And now over to Fruity for the Overt Product Adoration Segment.

Brought to you by:

ELES sheer mineral tint, a tinted moisturiser slash illuminator, which is giving my face the most delicious glow, and being mineral is of course non-irritating (which was IDEAL after being given a nasty, acne-esque rash from one of the 456 products I tried last week at some point: rash covered, no further skin irritation). I wear it alone on weekends, but through the week when I need to look all professional like, I combine this with…


ELES Liquid mineral foundation which is excellent because I love the finish and sunscreeness of mineral makeup, but have the accuracy and carefulness of a drunk wearing a blindfold on rollerskates when it comes to applying powder anything. So, with this, I get the benefits of mineral makeup, sans mess. It’s sets as a powder, (although I wouldn’t call it a matte finish, just nice and flawlessy) which is why I blend with the Sheer Tint, so that I get the dewy finish I’ve been loving since 1963. And! ELES is an all ‘Strayan brand! Stone the flamin’ galahs!


Estee Lauder Sumptuous mascara, which kindly gives me glamorously thick, overweight lashes every day, in just a few simple strokes. But they’re still light, if that makes sense. No matter how much you put on: no clumpy. Lauder have delivered some cracking mascaras over the past few years, (special nods and knowing winks to Projectionist and Illusionist) and each of them have been marvelous in their own way (curling, separating, lengthening, dancing), but who am I kidding: I’m a volume whore. Always will be. I love volume like Meowbert loves Toobs.


Decleor Aromatic Essential Balm,
also known as The Thing That Keeps My Skin Glowy despite heaters and air conditioners and performing massive aerials at Thredbo on the weekends. If you like La Mer, or Ella Bache Creme Intex (it’s like I’m addressing myself here), you’ll be so down with this, you’ll probably need to dig a hole for how far down you are.


Aaaaand, cut.

To those asking about Primped, not long now, fruits. Not long at all. We’re working our asses off (saves going to the gym/spending on cellulite creams) to get it PERFECT before we launch and elegantly and aggressively create an entirely new way to enjoy/drool over/learn about beauty.

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Creme blush application tip mimics multinational sporting brand logo; blogger awaits legal action

So, I just learned a wonderfully simple and effective and easy-to-pass-off-as-your-own-tip application technique for creme blush from a wonderful M.A.C makeup artist, Lisa.

It’s to apply in the shape of the Nike symbol.
If you have just returned from Saturn, (how amazing is the coffee there?!) this is the symbol she is referring to:


You start the symbol on the apple (fleshy part of your cheek) and then take it down, and then up and under the cheekbone, right back to the top of your ear. Repeat on the other side of face. Blend any edges with a clean foundation brush or clean, blush-free fingers.

This part: "under the cheekbone" is crucial, because if you apply your blush above your cheekbone, you drag your whole face down, and that ages you, and unless you are 13 or attempting entry into a licensed residence as when you are yet to blow out 18 candles jovially placed on an iced cake, you don’t want to look any older than you actually are.

Looks Very Good.
Try it.

Ps Many kind thanks to all of the fun, gorgeous, excitey fruits who came and got a book signed at my Myer/M.A.C makeup parties yesterday and today. You guys made me feel very special. Especially since I had texta marks (yesterday) and chai latte spill (today) screaming at you from my dress and you were all kind enough to pretend not to notice.

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You know how Perez always talks himself up and it’s really annoying?

I’m about to do the same!
Let’s smash some Annoyingometers!

So, I went on Mix 106.5 this morning, and Sonia Kruger has this incredible skin right,  and looks about 18 and she’s really actually very hot, in that guys-swivel-heads-in-the-street way. Todd was a cracker, and you know, it’s funny, I was nervous, right, cause you wonder if they’re gonna throw you a curve ball and you won’t be able to answer it, or you’ll answer it terribly, or you’ll swear (guilty, your honour) or you’ll just be extraordinarily dull. But they were so nice and enthusiastic, all my nerves went down to my toes, and out the ends of my French pedicure.

God! This isn’t about toenails! It’s meant to be me BRAGGING! Stay on task, man!

Here are some links to some sweet bloggy girls who have written nice bloggy things about Air Kisses for a small fee and a Vegemite sandwich. There’s Girl With A Satchel, who is one of my beauty editor cobbas and all-round unreal woman, and who published an enormously enormous interview with me about why umbrellas belong to s secret cult whose job it is to escape human beings (mostly at cafes and on public transport) and get back to The Umbrellatron, which is a large spaceship run by and full of umbrellas and due to leave earth within the next 100 years. Or the book, can’t recall which.

Just now the beautiful, clever, generous Mia Freedman has cooked up a lovely little slice of post pie on her blog, Mamamia, which, like GWAS, you’ve probably already got on your favourites and would’ve seen without me politely bullying you there. But! It is a lovely, blush-inspiring post nonetheless. She also made an incredible speech at my launch, which to a girl who sent her faxes (kind of like email, only less ‘e’ and more ‘pain in the ass’) as an optimistic 15 year old, trying to secure work experience because I adored her, is pretty cool for me. If by ‘pretty’ you mean ‘arctic’.

Here is one by a girl called Belinda who will probably intern with me at Primped sometime soon, because she’s eager (sends emails regularly) and has started a blog (shows initiative) and is said to be the daughter of a man who owns a chocolate factory (has lots of chocolate.)

Then there is UK based blog, beautypopstar, who found me via my amazingly, super massively talented sister  Antigone talking me up on her myspank page. Just on that, Antigone’s brand new, definitely excellent single, More Man Than Man, dropped YESTERDAY and if you liked that song "Ooh, The Bass Has Got Me Movin’" or "The Whirled You Live" then you’ll love this track because GUESS WHAT? Those other two songs are also by her. Zing!

What’s that? You want to know if I have any other siblings doing new and great musical things? Well isn’t that funny. Because would you believe that my brother, Levi, a DJ and producer and the guy who made nice music at my book launch last week (see visual aids 1.0, 2.0) has a new track out now also!


1.0 Signing books that lovely polite people bought so it wouldn’t look stupid: me sitting at a table, pen in hand, nothing to do.


2.0 Best Dress Ever and a man-sized book cover.

I think I’ve exhausted my Bragging Mechanism for today. Except to say  that I will be on the Today show tomorrow morning. Yes, you guessed it, discussing umbrellas.

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My belly button is in, but my BOOK IS OUT!

I’ve waited a loooong time to be able to post this.
Like, 912 days.


My first book, Air Kisses, is now officially on sale.
Like, in book shops and available to buy! IN PROPER BOOK SHOPS! WITH PROPER BOOKS!

She wasn’t meant to be in the shops until Monday, but a friend alerted me today that she was in Borders, sitting pretty in their new releases section, with her fancy new friends James Patterson and  Geraldine Brooks and Lauren Weisberger.

So as soon as I finished work, I screamed into the nearest Borders to see for myself. Fruits, it was such a magical, strange, overwhelming moment. Kind of like seeing an old friend in a small cafe in deepest Turkmenistan.

I was all hans solo, I asked the nice girl packing books a few rows up if she could, uh, you know, takeaphotoofmewithmybookplease.

She gave me this funny look, and then she asked if that was my book, and I nodded and then she smiled and then she got it and she smiled some more and she took this photo.


Now, I’m not going to ask you to buy it (although you totally, absolutely should, and probably several copies too), I’m just being a good friend and letting you know the best book you’ve never read is now available to you.

And! I have a website now, too.
It features pirates and parrots.

All that’s really left to say now is… wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

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Posietint is now instore! (6^&%6refjn +#ds25kn iu8 dsjd%4v 45@kls9*!!!!

Quick fruits!
BeneFit Posietint ($53 ish) is now in store  and on sale but probably not for very long!
That means I get to use some of these: !


A recap on all of its excellence and why I love it so much I am posting TWICE about it. I’m not sure the last time I did this, but it’s pretty rare. But then, so too are New Products of this calibre.

1. Liquid, creme or gel blushes and tints are, I think,  infinitely more fresh and youthful looking than powder. (Refer to the liquid on liquid, powder on powder rule here please. Which I may have never actually told you before, so your reference would be… here: If you use powder foundation, follow through with a powder blush. Liquid similarly, demands liquid. Why: If you try to put a creme/gel/liquid blush on powder, it will grab, and not blend, and you will get cranky, and probably break or throw something or someone. And if you put powder blush on your radiant, dewy liquid foundation, it too will grab and not spread and a frighteningly similar brand of rage could ensue.

2. It’s a gooey, viscous cheek gel/tint. Silky but thick. Much more user-friendly than Benetint, which is thin and watery and kind of stains the nanosecond it hits your skin. I was never that good at Benetint, even though it’s, I think, one of Benefit’s ongoing best-sellers. Posie gives you a few second window to blend. Nice P0sie. Good Posie.

3. It comes with a nail polish type applicator. Ignore this: spread onto cheeks with fingers instead. Actually don’t ignore it altogether, use it to apply the product to your index finger, which you will then place onto the fleshy part of your cheeks, and blend up and back, and pretty much all over the cheek. It will look Way Too Pink for a second, but will fade real fast, and you may, at this point, even re-apply. I do. It’s fun and I love really, really pink cheeks in winter. Adorable! Fresh! Girly!

4. It’s lurid, flamingo pink. Ignore this too: It’s sheer, universally flattering and is the perfect flush of pretty pinkness that is not too 8-year-old at all, and very appropriate if you are aged anywhere between, say, 0 and 115. 116 is pushing it. Plus, it seems to have a built-in glow mechanism. Not sure how. Just does.

5. It lasts. All day. No reapplying needed. No shit.

6. It’s also a lip stain. Score.

7. This beauty blogger has done a really very thorough appraisal, complete with images. I’ll let her take it from here.


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Probably it was that moment in Pulp Fiction when Uma Thurman’s character was so spectacularly off her head but was still managing to look kind of sexy and cool, (See: Gucci by Gucci, TVC, 2008) and we noticed her short, dark nails and we all let out a collective, ‘Oooooh‘, that the cult of Chanel Rouge Noir was born.

Maybe it wasn’t, but maybe it was. That’s all I’m saying.

Hang on.
No it’s not.
I’m also saying this:

Generally speaking, when Chanel unleashes a bit of a ‘daring’, a bit of a ‘wild’ shade of nail polish with their autumn/winter or spring/summer colour collection, women pay attention. And then they pay attention to their little purse, and their little feet and the opening hours of their closest cosmetics retailer.

Continue Reading..

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