A few of the beauty eds and I were discussing this little post-makeup ritual on the way to a Becca event the other evening. And it was VERY funny, because we ALL do it. And that’s always funny. Seinfeld knew that.

Sing if you know the words:

You do your makeup in the bathroom. You marvel at how fast you do it, and how perfect it looks. Even your eyeshadow seems to have blended perfectly. And your bronzer seems to have no lines! It’s just this amazing all over glow! Like you’ve just come back from Hawaii! Your gloss is the perfect shade. Your foundation is seamless and your brows don’t actually need waxing at all.

Then, just before you leave, keys in hand, bag on shoulder, you check your reflection in the hallway/lounge room mirror.

• Your eye shadow is blended on only your left eye.
• Your bronzer is far too shimmery, and far too orange, and everywhere. Chin and nose are exhibiting signs of Gross Shimmer Fatigue (GSF.)
• Your foundation, or rather the area it stops, resembles the line more commonly seen dividing the road.
• Your brows definitely, definitely need waxing. A lot.
• Your gloss is far too pink, and has gone up above your lip, so that you appear a little bit more than a little 6-year-oldish.

And this is why you need at least two different mirrors in your house, in two different rooms. One must have natural light. This is crucial. As this is the Truth Mirror. It shows every little stray hair, blackhead and particle of makeup, and keeps you looking good when your other mirror, the Liar Mirror, which is generally the one that you apply your makeup in, tries to sabotage you in front of your friends, workmates, and strangers on the train, because it’s bathed in nasty, artificial light. And even though you know this, you still apply your makeup in it. But don’t worry. As long as you have a Truth Mirror, you’ll be A-OK.

The point of today’s ramble: Whatever you do, fruits, don’t NOT have a Truth Mirror. Why put in all the effort and then have one badly-lit mirror ruin it all?

Why indeed.