Dear Valued Customer,
We regret to advise that over the next two weeks, there may be a disturbance in the regularity of fresh fruit being delivered to your account.
This is because a certain
operator, whose full identity we would prefer to keep confidential in the interest of safety,
has been infected by a sinister virus, said to look like this
which is said to lead to, among other things, an acute case of
We regret any inconvenience, and suggest you take supplements of the variety found in health food stores/lunatic asylums until your service is returned.
Kindest,
Fruitybeauty Corp.
2007.
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