I love my hair parted in the middle best, right, cause it’s all pretty and fresh and so now, but unfortunately for my current visual preference, my hair likes to not be parted in the middle best.
If my hair had its way, it would have the hair around my hairline pointing entirely vertically, or perhaps flat over my eyes, or maybe just shit and stupid and nothing and dumb and curly and flat-looking, like it does when the STUPID humidity in this RIDICULOUS city envelopes it right when it’s not supposed to, like this morning, for instance, when I was having my author’s photo taken for the jacket of my novel.*
But here’s how I saved the day (Superman would be so pissed I use that term so frivolously when he literally does save the day) when my fringey bits were starting to curl and go stupid. (Technical term: Bad Hair Day; often caused by too much product, no product, or the wrong product.) With no hair tools or product at hand, in a park, with slight drizzle. I simply flipped my part over to the irregular side of my forehead, that is, the side I never, ever part it, because it looks wrong and is going against roughly 456 cowlicks and some very aggressive curls, and held it there for as long as possible. Then, I shook out my hair, parted it in the middle, and it lo and behold, it behaved. It always does, when I do this. Whether I’m at my desk or getting ready to go out or playing a little banjo on the porch, the reverse part move is a splendid little trick for those with curls or cowlicks or both, who have a love affair with the centre part.
* More, so much more, on this later. For now, all I will say is that it’s out June 30, and that it’s probably going to be the best book you’ve ever read in your whole entire life, even if you’ve read The Notebook, (sobby) Eat, Pray, Love (laughy), Where The Wild Things Are (scary) and The Bronze Horseman (heartbreaky).