You know how you see those looks on the catwalk where the model has super mega perfect slick hair (see visual aid) and then you try it at home and your hair’s all like, ‘Oh, riiiight, so you spend the last three months trying to rootlift and boost me and glamorously curl me, and now, NOW you thunder in with your fancy paddle brush and want me to lie down flat and flyaway free and smooth as if, as if, I’m some kind of TOY that you can manipulate whenever the mood STRIKES you? Well SCREW YOU, sunshine’ or something to that effect, all dramatic and disobedienty like? Well, I met a hairstylist last week who under gunpoint revealed to me who it’s done, how the backstage genius hair squad do it; how YOU can do it.

It’s kind of simple. Forget styling it and hairspraying and hairspraying and then hairspraying it some more it into place like some form of eco-oblivious fool. Cause that’s what I was doing and believe me, I have completely forgotten it. No, the trick is to mix styling wax and straightening balm in your hands, and then comb it through the hair before styling it into a minxy little side part pony, or centre part bun. Delicious with an evening gown and beautiful with a cocktail number and hot with a tuxedo jacket.

She, the anonymous hair secret-revealer, mentioned that they usually comb it through with a tint brush, as if applying a colour to the hair, but probably we don’t have time for that, so we’ll just do it with a finetooth comb and cheat, won’t we? Yes. Yes, we will.