Regarding very delicious burgers in Melbourne.

I’ve written/sooked before in my Sunday Style column about how people who say, “This is the world’s best burger” are dinguses, because they have not tried every burger in the world, and therefore their opinion is not actually qualified.

So let’s all agree to just say things like, “This burger sure is tasty!” and “Wow! This burger is the best I personally have ever tried!” and “Gosh this burger tastes wonderful, a fact which I’m sure you would agree should you ever sample one of the same!” so that we don’t fall into the very modern dilemma of unsubstantiated hyperbole.

Now, onto great burgers in Melbourne. A subject I never tire of, and nor do my greedy little tastebuds.

I’m not sure if you noticed, but last week those cheeky In-N-Out bastards (In-N-Out, for those unaware, is only available in the USA. Their wares are delicious. Make sure you try said wares when next you’re there. LA is your best chance) did a pop-up for three stupid hours in Melbourne with no warning so pigs like me couldn’t plan and line up like a grease-desperate d-bag. They pulled the same shit in Sydney in 2012. We can only hope these frustrating litmus tests are occurring to ascertain whether they should open a store here permanently. Here’s the answer to that, In-N-Out: Yes. Yes you should.

Shake Shack, who make my absolute favourite burger, have never done pop-ups in Australia, and probably never will. But that’s fine by because it’s a special treat when in NYC, and in a world where everything is rapidly homogenising (we now have Zara, Topshop, Uniqlo and H&M here, something I thought I always wanted, but actually don’t because now shopping overseas is that little bit less special…. that said COS is opening and I fucking LOVE COS, and this makes me take everything I just wrote back.)

ShakeShackShake Shack, you glorious bastards.

Also last week, Broadsheet, that gorgeous bible of tasty eats, published their best burgers in Melbourne list. (Here’s their Sydney one for the NSW cats. My favourite up there is the cheeseburger at The Fish Shop on Potts Point, which used to be on the Lotus menu and which they smartly retained despite changing cuisines and restaurants altogether.)

I don’t agree with some of Broadsheet’s choices, but I REALLY agree with Le Bon Ton’s wagyu burger being on there, which my piggy of a husband and I discovered and subsequently moosed down last week because we felt we deserved a treat since we hadn’t slept for about a month due to our son insisting on having “teeth.”


The_Burger_Adventure-LeBonTonLe Bon Ton’s masterpiece.
(Pic from The Burger Adventure a site I, as a burger rat, like to visit.)

Le Bon Ton’s is my new most loved Melbourne burger, an honour previously held by Belles Diner in Fitzroy, which no longer exists, because it’s now Belles Hot Chicken.

Try it if you can.

Also try unicycling if you can, but don’t be afraid to give up if it’s too hard.




Responses to this drivel: 9 Comments
Responses to this drivel ( 9 )
  • EJM

    I couldn’t agree more, I’m so sad that all the stores I love shopping in OS are coming here….it takes something away from my travels now! (such a first world problem) BUT I am with you 2000% about COS…..I may have wet my pants a little with excitement about them coming here!!! Fingers crossed Anthropologie stays put OS though….and JCrew etc……

  • Rebecca

    I’ll be in California in February and I plan on hitting up In-N-Out. Can’t wait Mmmmmmm

  • Mike

    Shake Shack! I was just reminiscing the other day about the goodness that is the heart-attack in paper that is shake shack. I may have taken photos so I could always remember. Le sigh.

  • Pip

    Shake Shack is my fav too Zoe! have you checked out ‘The Burger Adventure’ http://theburgeradventure.com ?
    Its my ‘go-to’ for advice on the best burgers in Melbourne and beyond. It’s rated by 4 dudes with very high standards and serious passion for burgers!

  • Ling @ Ling Out Loud

    You know what?  I never used to eat burgers (except the odd chicken burger or filet-o-fish) but since I popped out a sprog last year, my tastebuds have changed & I actually want to eat burgers…like…all…the…time…WITH FRIES!  My fave one I’ve tried in Melbourne thus far is Huxtaburger…but their chips are bleh…

  • Alice

    Our local cafe in Richmond is our secret favourite – Tree of Us on Church St – it has very very delicious burgers that don’t make you feel sick or too greasy and just hungry enough for their salted caramel brownies. nom nom

  • Jess Moodie

    Sifting through your page this morning and I found this… Needless to say I thought of nothing but hamburgers all day and ended up having one for dinner 🙂

  • Burgers of Melbourne

    Melbourne has definitely upped their game in terms of quality burgers. Better than most of world 👌🏻👌🏻 we are very lucky!

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