We spend an hour a week worrying about our hair looking shit.

Prowling round the web like a creep today, I found some “stats” on how we birds spend our time in reference to our appearance. They came to light via a survey in which it was revealed women spend an average of 628 hours a year fretting about how they look.

Frustratingly it gave no indication of how much time we spend reading stats resulting from surveys.

Here are some them, and how much time we spend on them weekly:

What to wear – 50 minutes

Whether outfit / clothes then look okay – 1 hour and 32 minutes

Whether my wobbly bits are covered up – 1 hour and 26 minutes

What underwear to wear under an outfit – 39 minutes

Being bloated – 1 hour and 1 minute

Having spots 56 minutes

Uneven skin tone 50 minutes

Tan / lack of a tan – 36 minutes

Frizzy / greasy hair – 57 minutes

Total time spent worrying each week: 12 hours and four minutes

You probably won’t relate or agree with all of these.

I, for example, wear the same fetching silver and purple Lycra one-piece every day which I know looks fantastic, so I certainly don’t spend an hour and half worrying about my outfit each day. But some, like the frizzy/greasy hair, yeah… I get that. I spend FAR too much time on my hair. Each day I wake up and some of the first thoughts in my head are: Is my hair clean? Do I need to wash or style it? If it IS clean and good to go, how much more time in bed looking at Instagram does this permit me?

If it was more obedient and didn’t insist on being attached to my scalp and therefore prone to oiliness, life would certainly be a lot more swift, appearance wise. I probably will never do it again (or WILL I?) but when I had permanent “Japanese” hair straightening ten years ago, and I had wash and go hair, and rain and swim and gym proof hair, life was incredibly sweet. (You can of course mimic this effect without all the growing-outness by having keratin smoothing, and I might actually get that again soon, although it does tend to mess with your colour…)

Anyway. I felt their weekly breakdown was lacking some things:

Eyebrow shape scrutinising –  30 minutes

Spot picking regret – 50 minutes

Blackhead inspecting – 41 minutes

Curiosity regarding overuse of dry shampoo with regards to grey tinge on scalp – 24 minutes

Admiring a freakishly perfect eye liner application – 42 minutes

Fretting over the correct order of beauty products – 34 minutes

Looking at chipped, dry nails and feeling bad about not having time to do them – 18 minutes

Removing eye poo – 9 minutes

Wondering if hairdo is passable as a ‘hairdo’ and not just a scruffy bun/knot thingy – 23 minutes

Taking a stream of selfies because everything looks kind of great, actually – 10 hours and 22 minutes

Have I’ve missed any? By all means, add yours below.



Visual Aid:
The popular “car” or “taxi” selfie, taken in this case sans makeup (unusual for a selfie, unless posted by a supermodel in bed with moody filtering and a sexy piece of hair covering the face with the seemingly innocent caption ‘good morning’) to admire the fresh look a brand new brow shape and tint offers a dame.



Responses to this drivel: 25 Comments
Responses to this drivel ( 25 )
  • Angie

    I would add Pulling face in various directions to mimic face lift/double chin removal -36 minutes.

    (Please tell me you found someone in Melbourne to do your spectacular brows? I have Liens ebook but am still struggling)!

  • Kelly Stocks

    Looking for split ends – 55 minutes

  • Bree

    I would probably increase time spent fretting about eyepoo to at least 11 minutes, it’s annoyingly ever present when I look in the mirror!

  • emily

    Ha ha. Eye poo. I have never heard these words together and I am tickled pink. Also, I would add ‘Plucking Chin Hair’ for at least 5 mins a day. I know, I know. Need to laser. Just saving.

    • Laura

      Emily, laser is cheap! I get a brazillian and underarms for $39 at Laser Clinics Australia. I imagine chin would be lots cheaper than that.

  • Lauren

    “Wash and go” hair is seriously my dream, does the permanent straightening mean it’s hard to then curl your hair? I KNOW, it’s a contradiction but messy waves are kinda my thing. Plus, Damien would probably slap me if I messed with his spectacular colour work.

    • Elise

      Hey- just had mine keretin’d and it didn’t mess with my hair colour (and it’s got blondes & light browns). Mine was super curly (ok not bad but my hair straighten sat around the top of my shoulder blades and when curly around my ears and was bouncing on my shoulders) and frizzy afterwards it is less frizzy as in it was humid as hell yesterday and I had washed it in the morn and left to dry with NO FRIZZ! I was shocked. My hair is still curly but it’s so much calmer. I think it would hold the style of loose waves quite well. And might be less stressful in the morn to do it

  • steph

    asking my self if i really can go out with out fake tan and rock my fair skin probably takes up 90% of my day.

    • Corinne

      Haha! This is totally me. Also add obsessing over spider veins as well. I live in Qld – shorts are a necessity but having to look at my white/veiny legs is quite disturbing!

  • Jenna

    I would probably add ‘Pulling Fierce Beyonce Moves Around Bedroom Once Dressed To Pump Up Vibes’, 1 hr, 20 min per week. Helps me start the day with a good ‘tude, espcially if something is looming on the horizon.

  • Clare

    Probably add looking at freshly painted nails so to appreciate their perfection before inevitably chipping them – 10 mins…that being 10 mins before I chip them

  • Elle

    Checking my face makeup out in various lights around the house (sunlight, dim, fluorescent, etc) to check that I look OK in all possible lighting situations – solid 15 mins.

  • MeganBITW

    I spend a good deal of time (1 hour minimum) thinking about my mani colour and how long can I really stretch this gel polish thing for. No really. If I do it this Thursday will it get me through to January 5th when I return from Thailand? Also will an all white gel on a short nail get super dirty or stay chic? OMG totes important.

  • Hannah

    This proves one woman’s double chin is another woman’s eye poo! We’ve all got a little something we try to magically improve everyday, but strike a pose and the confidence comes from within. Great post and comments!

  • Philippa

    My friends used to call eye poo “duck meat” I have no idea why.

  • Katy

    Can I add a few minutes to each day contemplating in the car new excuses as to why I’m late for work or tutorials due to looking in the mirror and worrying about all of the above

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  • Alica

    Write more, thats all I have to say. Literally, it seems as though
    you relied on the video to make your point.
    You obviously know what youre talking about, why waste your intelligence on
    just posting videos to your site when you could be giving us something informative to read?

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