Seven Rules for The Lips That Are Red


You probably know these, but after wearing a spectacularly outrageous but simultaneously very chic Red Lip yesterday (it was Sisley Hydrating Long Lasting Lipstick in L25) , I was quickly forced to quickly remember the Rules for The Lips That Are Red, and thought, golly, I’m glad I know what to do here or I could be in real trouble.

1. Invest in a reverse liner, which is clear, and which you outline your
lips with to stop your spectacular red lipstick running and bleeding
and stuff. It’s genius. DuWop and Sally Hansen do them, cause they be smart.

1.5. If you own a lip liner, now is when you would shade in the lips in a shade similar to the red you are wearing, or even a nude shade. You may even like to pat some concealer on, if you are liner-less, and you wish for your red lip to stay put.

2. Use a lip brush, not the stick. The stick itself is for out-and-about touch-ups only. Brush give you precision and long lastiness.

3. After doing one full layer, blot with tissue. Now paint again.

4. Stick your index finger in your gob, and slowly remove. See how it takes excess lipstick! See how your teeth are saved from lipstick smears! See how you really really need a tissue to clean that mess on your finger up!

5. Before taking a sip from a glass, discreetly lick it so your spectacular lipstick doesn’t stick to the rim of the glass and make you – and it – look all nasty like it’s been drunk by that secretary that used to work for your dad who always had bad breath and bunions.

6. Take a mirror with you, and check your teeth and lips constantly. Red lipstick is attracted to teeth like groupies to footballers.

7. There actually is no point seven. But there was a 1.5, so maybe there’s seven after all…

*Cue one eyebrow up and spooky music.*

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