What could be better than being lectured at as you innocently read a blog?! Most things, I’d say, especially banoffee pie.

But for once this isn’t just me being bossy: The Daily Mail (yes, yes, I know, everyone’s font for authentic, intelligent journalism) did a study on wearing makeup to bed, and while admittedly, the poor dame subjected to the test didn’t cleanse at night for a whole month, and you might only do it once a week or so, you are still doing your skin damage.

Here she is, poor lamb. Before and after.

The findings were that not cleaning your face properly at night not only caused havoc with your skin, but it ages the skin.

If you don’t cleanse your skin at night – and I’m talking even the fastest in-shower foam and rinse – you may just be the lucky beneficiary of:

Larger, dirtier and more visible pores that may irreversibly stretch

Redness leading to rosacea

Deeper lines and wrinkles

Acute dryness

Irritated, puffy eyes

Brittle, shitty lashes that fall out

Not to mention feeling self-conscious when you read posts like this.

Bottom line is, and I know you’ve heard this before, but perhaps you’re still not listening because you have earphones in or something: You have to cleanse your skin at night.

I don’t understand why you wouldn’t want to clean your face at the end of the day.  ESPECIALLY if you’ve been wearing a shittonne of makeup or even just sunscreen, or face cream. (It’s not just the products you need to remove, but dirt and grime from, you know, the world.)  If you don’t remove it properly each night, you’re building onto it again the next morning, and as this case study shows, the skin enjoys that about as much as a swift kick.

Even in your drunkest moments, use a facial wipe (keep them in your bedside drawer for just these occasions), or if you’re stuck at a “friend’s” place (WINK WINK) use his stuff, or even just wipe olive oil from the kitchen over the face with some tissues or toilet paper. Yes, that actually works.

Sure, you can do it a few times with no real consequence, but if you’re doing it more than say, ten nights a month, and this study suggests that a lot of women are, well, that’s enough to have a long term effect. Also, all those expensive and impressive serums and creams you’re using can’t do their job if your skin isn’t a clean slate to begin. Loading them on top of yesterday’s layers is an atrocious idea but a wonderful gift to any pores that were hoping to produce a pimple that day.

I can honestly say I don’t think I’ve ever done it, but that’s just the cute anal retentive babe I am.

What I cleanse with at night: On a normal day, when I just wear some daily moisturiser with SPF and BB cream I use  a cream cleanser in the shower. Massage on, rinse off. When I’ve been wearing full makeup, I first use a cleansing oil on dry skin, then I follow on with regular cleanser in the shower or over the sink. And three times a week I use an AHA exfoliating cleansing gel to really clean all that product I wear off.

In the morning: I quickly rinse with some Cetaphil and water to remove all the night creams and serums.

Are you guilty of this?

Will you now finally change your ways?

Isn’t it awesome fun when I yell-write at you?

I use eye cream sometimes.

Mostly when a new exciting one is sent to me, or I have a facial and the therapist says things like, “Are you using eye cream? You should be using eye cream. Jesus, Zoe, why won’t you use an eye cream? Why do you insist on denying me this one thing? Etc.”

Look. Generally my thinking is that if you have a pretty normal eye area (not too dark, puffy or creased) and if you’re using a good serum and good facial moisturiser and SPF, and neither irritate your eyes, then they will do the trick, hydrating and protecting, and doing all the things the serum/cream does on the rest of your face. (Just don’t take them up any closer than about 1cm under your eye.)

But, if you have sensitive skin or eyes, and they tend to easily go red, teary, puffy or irritated, then you might need something specifically designed for the area: something soft, lightweight, instantly absorbed and which won’t piss your eyes off.

Go for a serum if you want it to bring sink in real fast and pose no sneak up risk. For a very effective anti-ageing effect, (ie: something that visibly-no shit has an effect) you’ll need something with retinol, like ROC Retinol Correxion Eye Cream, say. (Applied only at night due to UV sensitivity.)

Dark circles

This is a tricky one, often genetic or lifestyle-based, and I am yet to hear of a product that completely solves the issue… Many in the eye cream expert field will tell you that regardless which product you use, you still need to get the circulation moving with massage (pitter pattering up and down gently with the fingers.) My recommendation honestly? Buy a fantastic corrector such as those made by Bobbi Brown or Laura Mercier, a good concealer and a great brightener.

Products specifically for this include Clinique Even Better Dark Circle Corrector, and Dr Brandt’s Flaws No More.

(Temporary) Puffiness

Generally from lack of sleep, shitty diet, fluid retention, allergies, crying at Nicholas Spark movies and minor inflammation. Cold compresses – like teaspoons left in the freezer while you shower then held (back down) over the eyes, or cotton pads dipped in witch hazel, or a chilled, soaked green tea bag (or more specifically their tannins) in a tissue – work when used for a few minutes, shrinking everything down nicely. Same for gentle massage.

Pigmentation

Under the eyes is a common place to get sun damage as the cheekbones are a high point on the face and ripe for it. The pill and pregnancy can also stitch you up here. Also, metal rims on sunglasses attract more sun, and therefore more sun damage, so be mindful of that, Aviator fans. (Google laser toning melasma if you want a more permanent solution.) It’s hard to remove, sorry, but Vitamin C and ‘brightening’ and ‘whitening’ eye products can reduce the appearance of the melanin and cosmetically illuminate the area.

Eg: Olay Pro-X Eye Restoration Complex, and Priori’s Idebenone Eye Serum.

Now, listen here.

If you do use eye products, in order to avoid puffy eyes from product exposure, and to get the best results, make sure it’s applied NO HIGHER THAN THE ORBITAL BONE and UP ALMOST UNDER THE BROW BONE because man that shit moves around with body heat. Too close to the actual eye, (less than 1cm) and it’s pretty much going in there. Which sucks a doz.